Thought

I am a little hesitant to post this,  number 1 because I am not a mother and number 2 because it is just my opinion and I know my opinion is not always right. In my major, I have the unique opportunity of taking classes that talk a lot about the roles of mothers and fathers so it is something I think often about. Yesterday in Sunday school, we were talking about the divine qualities of mothers and I had this thought that has deeply impressed me.

At the beginning of the semester, one of my teachers told us that she had "found" herself and that she had found what her purpose was in life through her education and job experiences. This made me think about my own experience and I felt kind of bad because I have not felt that I know my individual purpose yet. I love my major and I have loved studying family and interior design, but I just don't feel like it is my purpose to be a "designer" or a "family scientist." I know you must be thinking I chose the wrong major, but I assure you, I did not.

Yesterday, I was thinking how the world would say that in order for women to "find" themselves, they would need to look outside of the home. It seems like it is through education and through having a career that a woman can find who she truly is. This got me thinking about  my own education and job (Not that my job is a career by all means). I was thinking about how I have learned skills and gained knowledge at school and at work but I don't feel like I have learned everything about myself that there is to know.

In Sunday school as we talked about the divine qualities that women have and their ability to nuture, I thought that I do not feel like I know this part of myself yet. I get glimpses of it every once in a while, but I do not think I will fully understand this ability until I have the opportunity to be a mother. I thought about my own mother and the way she is able to comfort and love her children. Over the weekend Brandon and I went to visit Mattie, Scott, and Jonah and Brandon pointed out to me how he noticed the way that Mattie was able to nurture Jonah when he fell down. So I also thought about Mattie. I thought about the change I have seen in her since she has become a mother and how she has developed those nurturing qualities.

This has been a long wind-up but basically my thought was that it is through motherhood, whenever that happens for me,  that I will be able to "find" myself as my teacher did. I cannot think of any job or any field of study that will allow me to develop the divine and inherent qualities of nurturing better than motherhood.